Tuesday 17th May 2016, LO- To write a diary entry from Mary's perspective

Dear diary, 13th February 1982

To whoever finds this final piece in my diary, I want you to know the truth,

I am Mary Maloney, I have run away from my own home as I have commit a serious crime, I have accidently murdered my very own husband, Patrick Maloney. It was an accident as he was hiding something and the leg of lamb slipped and killed him. as I am pregnant it id difficult for me so I will leave my child in good hands far away from me in hope they never find out what really happened and their real parents.

I am very worried of what may come so I will remain somewhere hidden by shadow for the rest of my life. It is too late to turn back time and impossible. I wish to die but I am in two minds, if I die I will never know or see my first child but if I die, I will be free from this life.

I may live somewhere secluded and isolated alone and I will never have another marriage ever again. I have had my fill of life and death. My paradise would be to live alone somewhere k=nobody will find me, that would be one wish. I want to be able to see my child grow and thrive but that will not be possible as they will quickly learn the real truth about their true family.

Every day I have a funny feeling, thinking back to when I saw Patrick's body collapse and fall to the ground. It is a peculiar sort of feeling, odd, perplexing, unknown feeling. I am certain I will get caught and receive a death penalty for my actions. I wish I had  never done it, the days grow darker for me, no happiness, just sorrow. Is someone asks I say we have divorced or he died from a gun shot wound. I have hidden the body at these co-ordinates, 18,32. It is never peace for me, only strife.

I remember every moment, from the flames to the meat. It is still in the oven but now it has probably been annihilated by the flames; I have nobody to turn to, nobody to trust, nothing, I have lost everything but my courage to survive. I have no blankets, no food nor water. Whoever reads this, I want you to think how lucky you are compared to my life. Your life will be 100% better. I feel like a monster with nothing and nobody, no friends, no help, NOTHING. It is like being the only person on the planet Earth, one person alone, how would you feel?

I wish I had someone to turn to in my moments of need, but I cannot. It will make my life worse. Well I suppose things cannot get any worse unless I get arrested. Lonely, dead, bleak, bare, isolated, secluded, dehydrated, starved, sorrow, melancholy, perplexed, nothing, these are some of the feelings I feel every day. I remember when the lightning betwixt the flames of murder, the scream of Patrick ricocheting off the walls, the lamb adjacent to the shattered wine glass. But that is my dark past, never to be spoken of EVER again.

Don't try this for you sake, think twice, I wish I could. The memories are thought provocateurs, every word, every mutter rings through my head. It sounds like so much noise, it feels like my ears are going to bleed and split into tiny pieces like the shattered wine glass belonging to Patrick Maloney, Nothing is the same, nothing stays the same. If you are reading this, you probably think I am mad and mental. I cannot remember the taste of lamb, peas or potatoes. I did say nothing as the same as it was. Please! Help! You won't be able to find me so do not bother.

I will eat the fruit that grows on the trees and plants. III will miss my child very much and I am very sorry Patrick. I feel very guilty and lonesome in this World and I cannot trust anyone with my secret, they will either turn me in or kill me themselves. If I die, I will be free from this. Nothing will ever be the same, this may be the last words of Mary Maloney or call me Mary Malonely. It certainly sounds ridiculous, if I had one wish, it would be to turn back time, reclaim the person who I really was. Don't make the same mistake as me or this is what will become of you. Don't turn into somebody like me, for your sake.

I will never give in and I will never forget...