Thursday 14th January

Dear Diary, 

Today was so mixed-up, at first I thought it was a dream. All the craziness started when Tuffy came through the cat flap, dragging something large (and dead) behind him. Of course Ellie started crying. “Oh Tuffy,” she said. “How c-” She stopped talking and started bawling when she saw what it was. Next door’s rabbit, Thumper. 

“Oh, the neighbours will never want to have anything to do with us again…” said my wife. I nodded. “All these years of friendliness are now finished and gone down the drain because of the stupid antics of Ellie’s BLASTED CAT!” I tried not to get too cross with Ellie. After all, she is my daughter, and it’s not her fault Thumper is the most aggressive, murderous, awful, no-words-irritating cat she could have chosen!

But I have to say, our plan was a good one. My wife dunked Thumper head first in a bucket of hot, soapy water, and it turned a horrible, greenish-brown colour with all of that mud from being dragged across two gardens and through a hedge. Ellie was STILL crying- now is one of those times that I either wish that I had never had a daughter, or that it was Ellie that her mother was upending. She is sometimes just a plain, old WIMP. 

But Thumper looked good after his little makeover. Ellie fluffed him up using a hairdryer, and if I didn’t know I admit I would think he was still alive, though he’s far from it.

From Ellie’s dad.